Sovereign Chaos

These last couple of months have seen to go by so fast.  It seems like just yesterday I was living in Portsmouth as a full-time college student.  Fast forward a couple of months and now I am engaged to a beautiful young woman, whom I love very dearly.    Although the first few months were hard because I saw many friends I’ve had since Freshman year of college stop texting and calling me to hang out.  It seemed almost as if they no longer wanted to hangout with someone who was in a serious relationship.  But, I was okay with that because I know that she’s the woman I’m going to spend the rest of my life with and have beautiful little kiddies with one day.

A few more months go by and I’ve become a college graduate and moved back home to Columbus.  I have had a couple of interviews with one of the major pharmaceutical companies in the mid-west that offered great pay and great benefits.  After I get my 3rd interview, it turns out that they decide to hire someone with more experience than I and I’m back to square one.  I have several interviews and no job.  I look into a few temp agencies and they are all real shady and never gave me a job that lasted longer than one day.  So here I am, in late July, 3 months out of college with no job, and 3 months away from being married.  People keep telling me to get a job in fast food but I know that’s not going to pay the bills and it’s not where God wants me.

Finally, I get a job working for Verizon doing over the phone tech support.  Hours suck but the pay is decent.  After 7 weeks of training, I get onto the “floor” and I absolutely hate it.  I loathe this job with every fiber of my being.  But I’m getting married in a couple of months and can’t just up and quit the only steady job I’ve ever had, so I bite my tongue and keep going to work.

On October 20th, 2012 I married the girl I waited my entire life for, a woman who I was beginning to think didn’t exist.  It was the happiest day of my life.  Although, it did sting quite a bit that a lot of people who I dearly love, look up to, and consider pretty big mentors in my faith did not attend for various reasons.  None the less, nothing could take away from the joy of that day.

The first couple of weeks and months were hard for both myself and Lisa.  My hours at work kept getting cut beyond my control.  It was bitter-sweet because while I hated my job, it did pay the bills as I was the only one working full-time at that time.  On one of the days I got sent home early from work, I basically broke down to Lisa and told her how much I hated my job and how I get physically sick whenever I even think about work.  Lisa knew I didn’t like my job but I’m not sure if she really knew how much I hated it.  To many people’s dismay, I decided to quit my job.  Let me tell you, quitting your job when you’re the only one working consistently is a pretty stressful thing.  I’m certain that it was even more stressful for Lisa.

Eventually, Lisa got a job at a high-end fashion store (where she is quickly moving up the ladder).  It took me a little longer to find work.  Again, I had several interviews and looked into several temp agencies but nothing came to fruition.  I had an interview with Ricoh USA for a position at BMW Financial Services.  I felt great about the interview and really loved everything about the company.  A couple of weeks went by and I did not hear anything back from Ricoh and I started working a seasonal job at Macy’s in the same mall Lisa worked in. After my first day, I got a call from Ricoh, they offered me a job in a different department (higher pay to boot!).  I immediately accepted the position and anxiously waited to tell Lisa the good news when she got off from work.

Fast forward two months and here I sit today, at work, writing this blog.  I really am loving my job.  I have great bosses and great co-workers.  I get paid well and have great benefits.  I have recently found out that my company will pay for me to finish my Bachelors and my Masters (in what, I’m not sure of).

It has been a whirlwind couple of months here in the Linley household, but I am certain that I am where God wants me, and I am grateful that he has provided myself a job where I can support my wife and future family with to the best of my abilities.

Though the fig tree should not blossom And there be no fruit on the vines, Though the yield of the olive should fail And the fields produce no food, Though the flock should be cut off from the fold And there be no cattle in the stalls, Yet I will exult in the LORD, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.

–Habakkuk 3:17-18

I Think You’re Pretty, Without Any Makeup On

Sorry guys, this post isn’t about Zooey Deschanel.  It’s about my “dream girl”, and no it’s still not about Zooey Deschanel.  So this topic has come up a lot in recent conversations and it’s really got me thinking as to who my dream girl would be.  And it hit me not too long ago, that I don’t have a “dream girl”.  As in, I can’t point to one individual who represents everything I want in a woman.  Instead, I have a list of abstract ideas and characteristics that would make up said girl.  So while we’re on the topic, let’s get to discussing!

• Christian 

She absolutely has to be Christian, and even though it’s an obvious one, it can be hard.  I know a really great girl who is amazing in every aspect of the word, but she is not a Christian.  I don’t think a relationship would work out long term between me and her because we don’t have the same spiritual beliefs.  How would we raise children?  Celebrate holidays?  How could I grow closer to Christ if my “other half” is not?  Despite the fact that I would love to marry her, I simply couldn’t.  And that thought is a bit heart breaking when I think about it.  But more then just being Christian, it has to be what defines her as a person.  Not just someone who said the prayer and goes to church on Sunday.

• Sense of Humor

This is probably the most important, right after Christian.  My future wife has to be able to make me laugh, and I have to be able to make her laugh as well.  I couldn’t imagine living with someone for 50+ years and having completely different senses of humor.  I’m not saying we have to have the same sense of humor or find the same things funny, because we don’t.  But if I don’t know how to make her laugh and she can’t make me laugh, there’s really no point in going further in a relationship.  Heck, I don’t think I would ever even date a girl who couldn’t make me laugh.  Even if it’s our own little sense of humor that nobody else gets, it has to be there.

• Intellect

Yes, another stereotypical trait when looking for a spouse (I promise, they are gonna get more interesting!).  Now I don’t mean grades here, she could limp through school with a 2.0 GPA, doesn’t matter to me.  Never confuse education with intelligence!  I want to be able to discuss things with my wife in a serious manner, and even if she doesn’t know much about the topic, she could still listen to my ideas and point out how flawed they are logically, but not in a mean way.  Which brings me to my next one…

• Nice

This one probably sounds dumb, but let me explain.  When I say nice, I don’t mean she has to say sweet things to me that makes me happy.  Sure, that plays a role, but I would say a minor role.  I’m more concerned with how she treats other people.  If we’re on a date and she treats me great, but is terribly rude to the waiter… she’s probably not a nice person.  Not a fake niceness either, I’m talking the legit real deal.  People want to be around her because she’s so nice.  I want to marry a woman people like.

• Movies/Music/Television

I absolutely love to watch movies, it’s easily one of my favorite things to do.  I love going to concerts and listening to music (who honestly doesn’t like music?!).  And I love to watch certain television shows (the office!).  Now most people would say that they have to marry someone who likes this certain type of genre or what have you.  And I use to think that way too.  But it hit me not too long ago, that even if the girl loved Twilight, Jonas Brothers, and Greys Anatomy, if she enjoyed those products and could tell me why she enjoys them to the same degree that I could tell you why I love 500 Days of Summer and Lecrae, then I honestly don’t care what it is you like.  If you’re passionate about Polka Music and Spanish romance films, more power to you.

• Books

Something that kind of goes along with the last topic, I want to marry a girl that likes to read.  She doesn’t have to read a book a week, or have to be able to discuss and contrast romantic and realist writings, but I would like to be able to suggest a book for her to read and know that she will read it.  I’m not a huge reader, but I do enjoy the good book, and she has to as well.

• Road Trips

I’m not sure if this one can be compromised on; I love road trips and if I’m going to be spending my life with you… well they better enjoy them as well!  I can’t think of a better way to spend a summer then a country wide road trip with the woman I love, I honestly can’t.  And if she finds that idea to be horrible, I just don’t think it will work out.

• Children

I want to have a family one day, ideally I would like to have four kids.  Two boys and two girls.  Of course, I can’t really control that, but I would love to have that one day.  So of course I need to marry a woman who wants kids, now if she’s dead-set on having three kids or whatever, that’s fine.  Or if she can’t conceive children for whatever reason, that’s fine too.  There is always adoption!  But she needs to have that desire to have children for our future family.

• Pretty

Finally, she has to be pretty.  And I don’t mean in the skewed norms society has placed on looks, I mean in my eyes… she has to be pretty.  And honestly if she meets the other categories, I’m going to thinks she’s the most beautiful girl in the world.  I would be easy if I had a “type” but I don’t really.  I think there are a lot of girls who are pretty, who fall into different “types” (types, what is that?  Have we really boiled down all women into distinctly different “types”?  Wow, I hate that term).

So there you have it, my criteria for the future Mrs. Phil (wow that was weird to type)!  Umm, any questions or comments, feel free to leave him here!!