I Think I Might Be A Monster

I think I might be a monster, because I have no idea what else I could possibly become.  I’ve lived by entire childhood trying to fit into a “man” ‘s molding.  Now I’m 20 years old and where am I?  I look at the media, and what does it say, am I man?  Nope, I am not a man according to the media.  I don’t drink, I don’t have sex, I don’t do things that are wreckless and irresponsible.  I care incredibly too much to be the media’s man.  So where do I look next?  Society.  Do I fit society’s mold of being a man?  Again no.  I don’t have a career, I don’t have a piece of land, or a five year plan.  How can I be a man without those things, well I can’t according to society.

So where should I look, well the bible of course.  That was easy wasn’t it?  Well not so fast.  What does the bible say about being a man, well it tells us that a man does not walk in the council of the wicked, and it tells us how to be a good husband and a good father.  But does it straight up tell us how to be a man?  Maybe it does but I have trouble interpreting it myself, so I go to the people I trust and what do I hear?  I hear that men can’t have emotions, men can’t watch certain types of movies, men can’t wear certain types of clothing.  Men have to be able to kill something with a gun.  Men can’t have feelings, and heaven forbid if a man should have hurt feelings… we are just suppose to suck it up and “be a man”.  But what is a man.  Why can’t a man just be who he is?

In the face of adversity, men have a word for standing their ground and being a solider.  Ironically, we call it “heart”.  But love will get you killed, so I put mine in the dark.

Ain’t that some sort of beautiful monster?

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One response to “I Think I Might Be A Monster

  1. Very thoughtful. Personally, I find guys more interesting when they are themselves and don’t try to fit the mold of manliness, whatever that means.

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